I remember the first thing my mom ever had me do while she was cooking was stir the Kool-aid until the sugar dissolved. I'm sure she had other little jobs for me to do, but my next "big" job was learning how to peel potatoes. Have you ever given your 7 or 8 year old child a potato and potato peeler? My kids want to peel potatoes all the time and I'm usually in such a hurry preparing a meal that I don't have the time to wait on them to peel (yes...shame on me). I'm sure my mother started me out early enough in the preparation so she didn't have to wait.
How patient she must have been with us as we were learning in the kitchen. I'm sure there were times she became extremely frustrated during the teaching process, but I don't remember that. I just remember ALWAYS being in the kitchen and her ALWAYS having something for me to do. I guess this should be the time I tell you about one specific time she did get pretty frustrated with me and my brother...
Growing up, we never owned a deep fryer. My mother just filled up an iron skillet with oil if we ever wanted to deep fry something. And to tell you the truth, the only thing I ever remember deep frying was frozen breaded shrimp (don't knock it until you try it). Anyway, for years, I watched my mother place a funnel in the top of the empty oil container, scoop the oil out of the skillet with a ceramic coffee mug and pour it through the funnel back into the original container. She did this to discard the oil.
So one time we were cleaning up the kitchen and my brother and I insisted on taking care of the oil for her. I don't remember our exact ages, but we were at least young teenagers. She agreed and went and sat down in the living room. Now I'm sure she had all the confidence in the world that we knew what we were doing...we had watched her for years, right? For those of you who are raising or who have raised teenagers, they know everything, right?
We started out with the funnel in the empty container and scooping the oil with the coffee mug. I have to say that it was probably my brother's idea <grin>, because this way was taking forever, but we decided to nix the coffee mug. He was going to pick up the iron skillet while I held the funnel and just slooooowly pooouuurrr the oil in. My brother has never been tested, but I'm pretty sure he's near-genius; however, I'm not sure either one of us had ever taken Physics at that point or if we did, we didn't pay attention in class. BUT! my brother was a football player and one of the strongest guys I knew, so I had complete confidence that we could make this happen successfully. Iron skillets are already VERY heavy, but loaded down with oil...why do you think my mom used her method?
He picked up the skillet, I had a death grip on the funnel....did you hear me say I had a death grip on the funnel? NOT the funnel AND the oil container, but just the funnel. He started to slooooowly pooouuurrr the oil into the funnel and this is where things get kinda fuzzy. I'm not sure to this day exactly what happened. I think he might have rested the skillet a little on the funnel and when he did, the funnel tilted one way and the bottle went the other...either way, the next thing we knew as the bottle and funnel shoot out from under us, we have just poured a crazy amount of fried shrimp oil all over the counter and floor of the kitchen (mostly the floor). What does one typically do when something like this happens? I'm not sure, but I know we both said aloud, "OH NO!!!"
I need to preface this next section by letting you know my mom is a klutz. She knows she's a klutz. She has been our entertainment for years. Well, not my dad's...it frustrates him, but me and my brother think she's pretty funny. Anyway, my mom came bee bopping into the kitchen like a goofy person and in a funny voice said, "What happened?" It is difficult to describe her body motions, but she was kind of jogging in there with her feet going side to side (kind of in a rocking back and forth motion sideways). As we see her enter the kitchen, we throw our hands up in the stopping motion, and yell, "Don't come in here!!!!"
Too late! She got too close, hit that oil and went flying like a cartoon character. I will just say while it wasn't funny then, we do laugh about it hysterically now. On her way down, she caught her elbow on one of the ornate kitchen drawer handles that had pointed edges and when she finally landed, she hit her head pretty hard on the floor. And she was lying there in the shrimp oil. Oh...and did I forget to mention that through all this commotion, my dad was on the phone in the living room?
Our first instinct was to help her up, so we both reached down to grab an arm, but as we did, she yelled to the top of her lungs, "DOOOOOOON'T TOOOOUUUUCCCCCHHHHHH MEEEEE!!!!" several times. Our dad ended his phone call, made me and my brother go sit on the couch. I don't remember exactly what happened from there, but after everything calmed down, we did go clean up the mess. I'm surprised she ever let us back in the kitchen!
Mother, I love you so much! I hope you have a wonderful day and thanks for being the best mom and providing not just the entertainment for me and Charles, but so much love as well!
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